I'm reminding myself as well. Our iman always changing. The position of our iman actually, depends on how we undergo life. The existance of iman can't be denied because of the present of feeling and emotion.
Sometime or maybe even once in our life, we will be in the most happiness moment and sometimes we would be in a situation where our heart is breaking into pieces- hopeless, sadness and pathetic.
All those thing happen, because Allah's will. Allah chooses us. We are the one that own the choices in selecting the correct path. Let us hold our iman. Hold it tightly, with the full trust and love to Allah. Only Allah.
I want to share some stories. Those experiences touch my heart, open up my mind and eyes. I start to believe that Allah knows best. And- my tears drop in every sujud and each time I say 'hamdalah'.
1~~
A cute chinese teenager. I know about her via my friend that I look upon him as my brother. He asked me to help and guide her in learning, knowing, exploring and how to love Islam. I was very touched by her courage to be a muslim. She asked me so many thing about Islam until I started to question myself, am I a true muslim? She wants to wear a scarf, she wants to cover her aurat, she wants to pray and recite the Qoran. It just likes putting mountains onto my shoulders and I realized that I should appreciate the hidayah that Allah has rewarded to me.
She always visited my room and took the chances to ask me so many questions. I banging my own iman and trying to stop from dreaming. I should not make myself busy with 'dunia thing'. (What should I say in English?)But she, she never give up hopes eventhough her family and friends never agree with her to become a muslim.
I was with her for only a year. I hate myself for not be able to help her for saying 'syahadah' before I really2 leave her. Until now, I just can recite the prayer and until I meet again with her, she would be a full time muslimah. Insya Allah, Amin.
Let us pray together.
2~~
I did not aware of her before. But after a junior of mine asked me to 'take care' about her, I was very excited to know her. A well known PA (Pengajian Agama/ Islamic Studies) student asked me to do that and that's made me more curious and excited.
I asked him why?
He just said that, "I trust u Kak, please help her. Please keep the best pearl in Islam. She has the potential to continue the tarbiah that each of us should reserve for new coming generation"
I was speechless.
From that day, I became so close to that girl. At the first time, she felt uneasy because of my attention until one day, I got her message.
" Salam Kak, how r u?"
Alhamdulillah, I had gained her trust and yes we become more friendly.
Day by day, I could say that I wasn't good enough to change/transform her to become a real muslimah. Hey, who am I to say those words?? Even I am not qualified to be called as muslimah.
Ya Allah, please guide me. Don't throw the sense of 'takbur' in my soul. Please ya Allah. I'm begging to you.....
"Make her solehah"
I received a piece of paper that written the short sentence. Again, I wanted to cry. And again, the only word that came across my mind was 'Alhamdulillah'. It just not only “making” her to be solehah, but me myself. I should correct my own mistakes and be a better muslimah. Subhanallah.
Alhamdulilah Ya Allah for choosing me to know more about Islam. Alhamdulillah Ya Allah for choosing me to be close with certain people that indirectly teach me how to appreciate hidayah. Alhamdulillah.
And for them, my two little sisters, Let us pray for them.
Friends, hidayah is not always being with us if we do not realize its value. Allah SWT has the right to take it back and for sure, we will lose the desire of being loved by Allah.
Nau'zubillah...
Friends, all praises to Allah.
Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah, Allahuakbar
*Let say together.
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